Performance and installation, 2020
Si me deseas, puedes entrar a mi jaula was presented for the first time during Backdoor festival in Mexico City in February 2020, at a party at a former women’s prison in Mexico City. The space of my installation-performance was an old-fashioned prison cell, with bars. Therefore, the spectators could observe from outside the cell. The entrance to my cell was located in the hallway that led to the dark rooms of the party (the rooms where people can gather to have sex). Inside my cell, in addition to the multimedia installation, I had at my disposal a large bench with my proposals on cut papers and testosterone gel. On the bars of the cell door was written: ” Do you desire me? I am non binary. Are you afraid of your desire? Many times I have felt that being non-binary has made me asexual in the eyes of people. If you desire me, you can come in my cell. ”
On the wall of my cell I projected this video with my voice-over on loop.
Inside my cell, I was moving and seducing my viewers / voyeurs using codes of masculinity and femininity alternately. I also applied 100mg of testosterone gel on my stomach and shoulders during the night. People who decided to enter my space – and therefore, according to the invitation at the entrance, desired me – were invited to come and sit with me on the bench. I explained to them that I had used testosterone in gel, and that the hormone is absorbed through the skin into the blood, so if they touched me, they ran the risk of absorbing testosterone as well. This information could influence their further physical interactions with me. We then talked about my intention to confront my contradictions with this performance: on the one hand, I repeatedly felt that being non-binary limited my sexual and sentimental interactions; on the other hand, I realized that I was creating this feeling myself by believing this narrative and pushing away people who were actually attracted to me. Using testosterone and therefore limiting physical contact with the people who entered my cell exemplified this tension between attracting and repelling intimacy. After talking to the people who entered, I would choose a proposal from one of the papers on my bench and offered it to them. Among the proposals during this first presentation, I offered “smell me without touching me”, “put a hand in my hair and a hand wherever you want”, “give me a lapdance”, “dance with me”, “spank me”, and “do whatever you want with me “. I chose the paper that the person inspired me.
The interactive aspect of my installation, where there are real intimate interactions between bodies, seem deeply interesting to me to illustrate that we can experience authentic erotic connections with other humans outside of the private and hidden sphere. The presentation space was also interesting because it created a voyeuristic relationship for the viewers who stayed outside the cell watching the intimate action that took place inside. The location of my installation in the corridor leading to the dark rooms asks: what is sex and intimacy? What influences our desires and how are they manifested?
