Somatic Sex Education

This manifesto was my final assignment for my Course 3 of Somatic Sex Education, a certification I am taking at the Institute for the Study of Somatic Sex Education, based in Victoria, Canada.

Somatic comes from the greek word ”soma”, which means the material body. I like to define the somatic body as the body perceived from within, which includes its emotional and spiritual aspects. Somatic Sex Education is a growing field that focuses on sex education from the lived experience of the body. The little sex education I received in school was focused on rational ideas about risks and reproduction. Very few people are educated about pleasure, consent, and solely feeling one’s sensations. I believe that limits our experience of pleasure and of sensual and sexual fulfillment, as sex is an embodied experience.

The mainstream society teaches us that pleasure is shameful and that we must hide it. We limit our experience of pleasure and may only associate pleasure and eroticism to sexual intercourse and the ideas we have around what it has to be like. However, our capacity for pleasure is pretty much limitless. When we start to connect to our sensations, our pleasure can expand while paying attention to textures, sounds, our breath, etc.

Sometimes, when I ask people to tune in with what their body wants and desires, they ask ”how do I know?” It is a very legitimate question, as we are educated to not pay attention to our bodily needs and desires. Starting as young as elementary school, we learn to ignore our functional need to go to the bathroom to schedule it with school recesses. In a world where we start to ignore our NEEDS at such a young age, re-learning to pay attention and to listen to what we desire is a learning process that asks for practice.

Some things that can limit our experience of sexuality, other than lack of education, are shame, trauma, and pain, to name a few. As Somatic Sex Educators, we are trained to accompany individuals and groups on their journey to the sensual and sexual life they choose. Through individual sessions, workshops, online coaching and ongoing groups, our clients can explore conscious breath, movement, and extended touch in the container of safe professional relationship. They can practice feeling and expressing desires, and learning communication and negotiation in the erotic realm. We help clients bring pleasure and aliveness into their erotic life and relationships. We work through body-based exercises and experiences that include somatic awareness, mindful masturbation, genital anatomy and mapping, and orgasm coaching.

I am currently an advanced student at the Institute for the Study of Somatic Sex Education (ISSSE), based in Victoria, Canada. I chose to study at the Institute as it is the only one that offers an extensive understanding of gender diversity, trauma, the nervous system, and systemic oppressions. I am also a member of the Somatic Sex Educators Association, and as Sexological Bodyworkers we adhere to the professional code of ethics of the Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers in all of our sessions.

Because I am not yet a certified practitioner, I open my practice as a student, with the support of my faculty and the feedback of my peers.

Why would someone want to see a Somatic Sex Educator?

  • To explore more sensations and connection to senses
  • To expand the possibilities for pleasure in the body
  • To practice asking for what you want and listening to what your loved ones want
  • To practice giving and receiving
  • To deepen your understanding and awareness of your desires, boundaries, needs and consent
  • To discover or reconnect with your own sensual and sexual self
  • To explore a solo sexual practice and more choices around masturbation
  • To explore any kind of pleasure inside a safe, ethical and professional context
  • To do any of the above as a survivor of sexual trauma
  • To do any of the above while navigating gender
  • To do any of the above while living with a STI diagnosis

What can we do in a session?

Before our first session, we will do an intake process to see what are your intentions, interests, and anything you want me to know about your sensual, sexual and body history. At the beginning of each session we do a check-in. We tend to start with a grounding exercise to connect with our bodies.

Options during a session can include:

  • Exercises to enhance awareness to bodily sensations
  • Exercises to explore our choices and practice using our voice to express them
  • Practices to down-regulate, up-regulate and attune the nervous system
  • Developing a solo erotic practice
  • Masturbation coaching
  • Fantasy exploration
  • Pleasure mapping and genital mapping
  • Gender exploration
  • Performance as a means to amplify desire or pleasure

These sessions are not clinical; somatic sex education is not therapy or medical treatment. Rather it’s about education. We are guided by your education, growth, benefit and pleasure. Referrals are provided for physical and mental health practitioners.

If the session is in person and there is touch involved, I remain clothed. I also work with couples or partners who want to learn interpersonal skills, where they can explore touch dynamics together.

Prices

$75CAD for one hour session

You may notice that I have different pricing for my practice in Mexico. If you live in a first-world economy (Canada, USA, and Europe), my rates are adjusted accordingly.

Accessibility is a major value of my practice. Most of the people I work with are part of the LGBTQ+ community, and live in precariousness. I have a sliding scale available if you are interested in my services and they are not accessible to you – please do ask at [email protected]